My odd life

I don't know why odd stuff always seems to happen to me; whether I bring it on myself with my mal-normal behavior, or if its just something I project that screams "I'TS COOL TO BE WEIRD AROUND ME, UNLEASH YOUR DARK AWKWARD SIDE, I DONT CARE." Either way, it leads to some fun situations:

A couple nights ago I'm playing the 5/10 game at the Bellagio. I lose a pot to an old woman to my left, who check raises a four way flop and I have to fold queens. She is well over 60 years, short, a bit round, and looks like some blend of Philippino/thai, so basically your typical older asian gambler. The following conversation unfolds (by the way, not enough people talk at the poker table, so I like to put upon myself to meet everyone at the table, befriend them, talk about their occupation, where they live, etc. It makes playing live MUCH more enjoyable, and let's me know how good each player is likely to be right off the bat):
Me: How many chips do you have in each stack?
Old Lady (in a blurry accent): huh?
Me: How many chips do you have in each stack? It looks like 40.
Old Lady: huh?... oh, yes. I hah fouty.
Me: Ok, I was going to ask during the hand but most people don't like answering questions when they are in a pot.
Old Lady: Oh, Yous can ask me anyting you want.
Me: You have any daughters?
Old Lady: Yes, but she too old for you.
(at this point the rest of the table begins to perk up and listen in)
Me: How much older? My mom says I need to stop dating younger girls.
Old Lady: she fouty five. Too old for you. She in the air force.
Me: cool.
Old Lady: Is there anything else you want to ask?
Me: hmmm... does she have a daughter?
Old Lady: No, she in air force!
Me: oh.. too bad.
Old Lady (in a more hushed voice that is not quiet enough because the entire table can still hear her): Is there anything else you want to ask me? Because I have not had sex in twenty two years.

The table explodes.
These days I feel sometimes like I've heard it all. Every time someone says something ridiculous or outrageous, I nod, grin, and add something one step further. This was the first thing in a while that just completely stunned me.

I just got beat at my own game by an old lady.

So I did the only thing one can do in that particular situation: I ordered a gin an tonic, and, as I played, shot her winks and passed her love notes written on napkins. And the table eventually joined in, telling us places to go for our first date (my response: oh we wont be having time for dinner) or suggesting threesomes with the older female dealers who rotated in and out from the table. One dealer even found the comedy in it, and started sending air kisses my way. The name on her tag was "Lucky." I couldn't possibly make that up.

If only I was 70, I would have been in there.